May 22, 2012
Running With Guts: What I desire: to go for a runWhat I did yesterday: went for a...

runningwithguts:

What I desire: to go for a run

What I did yesterday: went for a run

How my foot feels today: a-okay

How my foot will feel if I run: probably not a-okay

How many rest days I realistically need between runs: probably 1-3

How many rest days I’d realistically need if I ran today: probably…

May 21, 2012
STEPS IM TAKING TO LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD NOW THAT I CAN’T RUN

I quit facebook and one thing I noticed is there are all these pictures of myself on my desktop from times when I felt like changing it up and/or seeking approval from my “friends”.  This is kind of weird, and I’ve become more concerned with privacy in the digital age (spoiler alert, there isn’t any, and I’ve been blogging for ten+ years so what did I expect?)

Facebook was kind of masking my loneliness, making me think I had a larger network than I do.  Now I see I ain’t so connected after all but it hasn’t become unbearable enough to make a change.  I wonder what my current excuse is and what the reward for this behavior is.  I don’t think it’s more insidious than laziness/fear.

Trying to force myself not to diet, and not to eat diet foods because that is cheating and they aren’t even good and what happens when you stop eating diet foods?  Trying to instead make choices of which I can be proud, or at least enjoy whole heartedly!  Don’t temper joy!  Own that decision you made!  Trying to force myself to eat delicious foods mindfully, and be patient, and be accepting of my vessel, and looking forward to the day when I can make it to the top of Calhoun and also Watson on my bike.  This is something I can measure in a non obsessive, non damaging way.  Calming myself in relation to my body, “You’re already there, you’re already there, you’re already there”.  This is something I know is true.  I feel it and I know it.  The other thoughts, they’re purely cognitive fake it til you make it bizness (“No one is looking at you and so what if they are”), but the body I have is the body I have.

One of the holding patterns is that I feel like I have to get all this stuff right before I go out into the world and connect.  Didn’t I always say in regard to running that if you wait for conditions to be perfect you’ll never start?  Motivation comes later? ETC ETC?

I was going to end saying how petty all of this is and how crazy and pathetic and esteemless I sound, but whatever, right?  This is how I feel, and I’m dealing with it just like everyone deals with all their petty self absorbed shit all the time.  I’ll get there, even if I can’t run there.

11:22am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXl9TwLte726
Filed under: mental 
May 12, 2012

It was biking!  It was awesome!

May 11, 2012
Check.

If today were a table I’d flip it over.

Yesterday while running 2 miles with the baby I wrenched my knee again and now all I can seem to do is dwell and blame and curse myself.  Slooooow down.  PT.  Do it.

Ugh I am the worst.  I was not mindful even a little bit today.  Luckily the work day (which, ferrealsies, is easy and fun anyways) is over and it’s the weekend and I made myself a soda water cranberry vodka spritzer and I’m going to tackle disorder to make some sense of things and calm myself.  I’m letting today go.  It was just one day that I didn’t use to take care of myself in any way until now.  I will, starting now, in whatever way seems appropriate.  

Tomorrow I’m going to do something that isn’t running. UGH. 

May 7, 2012
"Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy."

(via robindoesrunning)

I heard a “This American Life” once that stuck with me about quitting.  I think one of the things about myself I am now proud of is my ability to recognize when things aren’t working.  I’m not afraid of upheaval or of starting from scratch, and I’ve learned how to formulate better and more efficient exit strategies than before.  Letting things go…that is another story but I’m getting better at that too.

(Source: pennygolightly, via robindoesrunning)

May 2, 2012
"The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found."

The Iron by Henry Rollins.

A fantastic essay on strength training, both mental and physical. The last part has made the tumblr rounds before but the whole essay is full of gems of wisdom. 

(via thepursuitofhealthandhappiness)

It’s always necessary to reblog anything having to do with Henry Rollins. He’s like an elephant, but an elephant MAN.

(via always-raging)

THE ELEPHANT MAN??? ok i’m ferreal getting off the internet now

(via always-raging)

May 2, 2012
gressions:

The only thing worse than running in the winter is running in the summer.  AUUAHDJGFAJKHFGGGHHH.  Sweaty and humid and drippy and my eyes sting.
BUT 
I ran on the trail by my house that I used to get so bored with and it was like coming home.  3 miles!  3 miles muthfackas!  AMAZING!!!!
I took that picture like 15 times, I’m crazy vain.  I kept this one cause it looks like I’m wearing a shirt that says Virgin, which made me laugh.  I’m genuinely happy for lots of reasons, the least of which is that I can get all my hair into the tiniest ponytail imaginable.
Junie comes home tonight, so I’m pretty pleased.  She has teeth now!  And as soon as I knock out these assignments I’m done with school for the semester!
Things are coming up Milhouse over here.

WHOOPS WRONG BLOG AGAIN

gressions:

The only thing worse than running in the winter is running in the summer.  AUUAHDJGFAJKHFGGGHHH.  Sweaty and humid and drippy and my eyes sting.

BUT 

I ran on the trail by my house that I used to get so bored with and it was like coming home.  3 miles!  3 miles muthfackas!  AMAZING!!!!

I took that picture like 15 times, I’m crazy vain.  I kept this one cause it looks like I’m wearing a shirt that says Virgin, which made me laugh.  I’m genuinely happy for lots of reasons, the least of which is that I can get all my hair into the tiniest ponytail imaginable.

Junie comes home tonight, so I’m pretty pleased.  She has teeth now!  And as soon as I knock out these assignments I’m done with school for the semester!

Things are coming up Milhouse over here.

WHOOPS WRONG BLOG AGAIN

April 30, 2012
Deserve a piece of the aggro crag

You guys, I worked out SO HARD TONIGHT.

Very very satisfying.  So sweaty.  To Frank Black’s Bluefinger, which is definitely my favorite album tonight.

Love!

April 30, 2012
What are the stages of grief again?
I gotta go work out this AGGRO MOOD.
Bummed it’ll mess up my hair.
I can’t not smile, but look at my goth nails and flicked fingers.  I’m pissed I tell you!

What are the stages of grief again?

I gotta go work out this AGGRO MOOD.

Bummed it’ll mess up my hair.

I can’t not smile, but look at my goth nails and flicked fingers.  I’m pissed I tell you!

April 30, 2012
sometimes when i run i pretend to be ponyo

sometimes when i run i pretend to be ponyo

(Source: houseofghibli)

April 28, 2012
blackronswanson:

THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGERS IS TIGGERS WILL FUCK UP YOUR MORNING JOG

blackronswanson:

THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGERS IS TIGGERS WILL FUCK UP YOUR MORNING JOG

(Source: royalelectric, via marypsue)

April 27, 2012
It’s only trivia, so don’t freak out - the thermals

I fucking missed running as an anti psychotic! 2 miles again and I felt more fatigued than hurt.  I am out of shape! 

The sun shines.  There is honeysuckle hidden somewhere on the corner of Locust and Long.  I let go of my anger.  Things are good.  Waiting to post until after the run is always a good idea.

I’m off to do some arts and crafts!

April 25, 2012
RUN REAL RUN AHH

I just ran 1.28 without pain, stretched for one minute, and then totalled 2 miles! I AM SO EXCITED!  It’s no 18, but it’s a GD start!

April 23, 2012
gettin’ back

tofuchampion:

…to the gym, that is!

I’m going to lift today.  Starting Strength Original Novice Program, Workout A.

My wrist is still sore, but as long as it’s not twisted or overly bent, it’s okay.  And if I’m doing the lifts correctly, it’ll stay straight, so I shouldn’t have any problems.  I’ll wear the strap on my knee, which has been fine the past few days anyway.

Fingers crossed that this goes well.  I’m excited, at any rate.

Novice strength for the injured?  Yes please.

April 22, 2012
OOoh OWW

So, when you have a successful return to something you love, don’t get all arrogant and haughty and over ambitious and try to do it two days in a row.  Patience.  Moderation.  Mindfulness.  Pay attention to your body.  I stopped after like a minute, so I don’t think I caused any serious damage.  UGH ALL I WANT TO DO IS RUN ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

11:48am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXl9TwK5-6WK
  
Filed under: frustration running